Illusions of Madness
by NonameJane
Summary: ONESHOT! These words they cease to be...forever a reminder of you.


Illusions of Madness

By: NonameJane

Disclaimer -Hell no, I don't own!

AN- Enter Aoshi, the beautifully insane head case. Oneshot?

Summary- These words they cease to be...forever a reminder of you.

The moon glared down brightly, intently,the stare angered for some unfathomed reason. Indignant, it shadowed his form, making him appear like an ink blotch into the bright night. Leaving a trail of shadow and disparity in its wake. Even the heavens rejected him.

He moved still, not running nor moving swiftly. Casually, as if he were on his way to the market or to his room. He took his place on the porch, and placed a callused, worn hand to his face for balance.

Darkness always brought out the night in him.

Aoshi let his eyes slam close, like the unhappy shutting of a door. The outside world wouldn't find him there, no interference just introspect.

No matter how much time would pass, no matter how many grains of eternal sand would fall; the images would always stay as torturous reminder. Of...

Failure.

Of everything he'd done. They were one and the same, his life, his actions. Failure and his being were intertwined at the core.

But, he knew that already.

They trusted him and had given their everything to him; fearing any failure they'd inflict on him. Was it his disappointment they feared...or was it he? Anymore, he couldn't be sure.

But, they had died for it. And now, once, he lived for that. Their fear gnawed at his soul slowly, letting segments of it drop and decompose.

So he made sure he never disappointed them.

_And he had_.

That's why they aren't stationed next to him now planning their next move, but he did try to repent. Making sure to let the remainder of his heart fall along with his comrades.

What did that accomplish?

He added another failure to his growing list. In his lifetime, had he done anything right? More and more just kept jumping into his head from the hidden depths of his subconscious.

Aoshi grasped his stomach loosely with his freehand, and hunched over. The burning sensation in his throat made him feel sickly and ill.

His closed lids hardened at the upbringing of another forced, latent memory.

What of Okina? Aoshi had went out of his way to decimate him. The fight they shared amused his state of insanity to the greatest degree. Aoshi surpassed him so greatly, he was on another level. Okina never would've suspected it.

He hated himself for that, the love he'd once had for the pain he caused.

The betrayal burning, blazing like a wildfire in the old man's eyes; that's what struck him. He knew what he'd done, calculated every move of treason with his mind's greatest ability. So why?

Why did it sting when made apparent to him, a fact he'd already known.

Because, he refused to accept he'd ever be in the presence of those wizened eyes again. He never planned to have to look straight into them once more.

He left the duel, not at all guiltier than when he had arrived.

However, he was meet face-to-face with something he wasn't prepared for.

The eyes were cerulean and wide, yes, and there was fear.

The fear again.

_Of him..._

Aoshi hastily opened his eyes, his breath short.

The one's that love him, care for him, are always consumed with fear. And he is always the cause.

Haanya, Beshimi, Shikijo. Hyotokko...Even Misao.

Misao...

That girl was always weakened by him. He'd known for a time how much irreparable harm he brought to her.

The ache of regret pounded harder every second.

Yet she stayed, stays with him; just to chat or watch him. To make sure heisn't hurt or aching. He'll never let her know how hard it is for him just to wake up in the morning.

Why, why does she insist on punishing herself?

This light she brought pushed him further into shadow. His heart warmed but his soul darkened. Even when he's silent, he knows the pain she feels festers even more each day.

Again, _why?_

Did she love him? Is that why?

He knew the answer and it lifted him and stung him more than anything else had.

His brooding came to a screeching halt.

Aoshi rose to his feet and retreated to his room; eyes clear.

Misao.

He couldn't strike her as a failure just yet.

AN- had fun with this! His psychosis is amazing. Timeline is for you to decide. Opinions?


End file.
